Calling all Miracles

We are having a rough day at our house. I have tried to keep our blog happy, hence why we haven't had any posts for a while. I have held the opinion "If you can't say something nice..." but we are feeling lost right now and since the only people who follow our blog is family, I figured it was okay to share.

Bruce had an interview on Wednesday for a teaching position. He felt so good about the interview and we were finally feeling optimistic that things would change for the good. It would have provided us with insurance in time for our little girl to be born. It would have put us in a position to get out of debt (which we have accumulated more of since being out of work for nearly a year). It would have answered our questions on what to do. But this morning, he received a phone call telling him that they had chosen someone else. He is very discouraged. I am very discouraged. We don't really know what to do at this point.

We felt so strongly in March that we were making the right decision with me being a stay at home mom. It really honestly felt like that was what we were supposed to do. We felt the same way when we found out we were pregnant. It wasn't the best circumstances, but we believed that Heavenly Father would take care of us. Nine months sounds like forever and we figured that Bruce would most assuredly have a job by then. We are now nearing the deadline for him to get a job with the wonderful 90 day waiting period that most jobs have for insurance. And there is nothing in sight. Part of the problem is that my going back to work now is a little harder. Who is going to hire a woman who is almost six months pregnant? I really don't want to go back to work, either. I feel like that is giving up on what we felt was right. So what do we do?

How do you maintain your faith when it feels like nothing is happening in the way you need it to? We keep getting blessing that just tell us to be patient and faithful, but how long can we do that? Bruce is at the end of his rope and is honestly thinking of giving up his dream of teaching. I hate to see him do that because he is so wonderful at it and I feel like that is what he should do. At what point, though, do we face the reality that this isn't working for us?

I guess I need some faith affirming miracles in our life. We have such a sweet little boy and we want our family to continue to grow and develop. That is extremely hard, though, when we are living with family because we can't afford housing right now. It is even harder to develop our own family traditions and practices when you are living with other people. We are ready for our miracle. We are in desperate need of our miracle.

Enough of the negative. No more complaining. I know that compared to a lot of people, we are so lucky. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.